I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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