Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize