She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize