i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
