my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
