Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
