Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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