i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize