Sponge bath it is.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
