You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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