Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
