i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
