for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Semen is not good for contacts.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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