just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
