Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize