It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
