you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
high people should be assigned attendants
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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