so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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