Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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