im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
