my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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