From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize