Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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