Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
