My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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