the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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