i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
