i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
