these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
