After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.