I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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