i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
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I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My feet surprised me
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