Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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