Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
