oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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