i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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