Screwed.edu
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
