i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
