I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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