normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
