just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize