I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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