I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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