i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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