I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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