A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
