Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
