He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
