Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
