We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He better not be in your backpack
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
