Do vagina's smell?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
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Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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