I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges