I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
birth control should be required to get into college
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone