Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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