At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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